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How dating is ruining your love life


Samhita Mukhopadhyay is a writer, speaker and technologist residing in Brooklyn, NY. She is the Executive Editor of the popular website Feministing. Mukhopadhyay is also co-host of the podcast Opinionated on Citizen Radio.

Would you like to tell us about a lower price? If you are a seller for this product, would you like to suggest updates through seller support? Romance and love are in a state of crisis: Using interviews with young women that are living around, between, within, and outside of the romantic industrial complex, Mukhopadhyay weaves a narrative of the alternative ways that women today have elected to live their lives, and in doing so offers a fresh, feminist look at an old topic: Read more Read less.

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It is obvious society and society's expectations have ruined dating. Feminism is a breakthrough of all those social constructions that we should practice as a feminist, but it is not something we take for granted and abuses it. In this book the author depicted feminist as coldhearted machos who've nothing to lose but everything to gain. But I say it is very smart to speak for oneself and not stuff every feminist in a corner that is constrained with absurd generalization, because most of the points she made are a matter of opinion.

Hence, I don't think this book is any different from most of the books the author criticized. While most of the How dating is ruining your love life discuss great deal of problems we have in a society, the author didn't handle most of the topics very well, but rather she was influenced by her personal experience that lead her to be bias, which might mislead other young readers.

Just because she is not married, and because she doesn't take dating seriously, she makes a point where it is ok mimic masculinity-which debunk the whole ideology of feminism in general-rather than seek equality and appropriate manner as a feminist.

Isn't that what feminism is How dating is ruining your love life about: I dare say that even people who identify as a feminist sometimes don't "get" it.

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Generally speaking, she makes absurd generalizations that aren't even accurate about women's as a whole. Sometimes the author forget to note that, first, this isn't a religious belief we are talking about; it is a mere lifestyle activism we seek in order to live a fulfilling life.

And second, she makes feminism sound like a counterculture movement. In a way, this book is a public justification for the past misdeeds, and a rebellious and defensive mechanism to hide insecurities.

As a feminist, the author and her book should advocate personal choices and respect that instead of taking side of everything that is wrong with this nation and say, "Hey, I am proud of it. She is deluded with everything that is negative about dating, relationship, and feminism, and this book lacks a common ideology of morality and humanity.

Willingly, the author prefers to point her fingers at conservatives insinuating they're the causes of this debacle. Whenever she referred the "conservatives," she hints How dating is ruining your love life are the bad guys.

While it is society in general who created all this far-fetched constructions, it seems to me that she is blaming conservatives solely. Also, a person doesn't have to be anti-feminist to point out all the wrongs of feminism. Feminism isn't always right and it has its own shortcomings, too! The last chapter is dedicated for other feminist to say what feminism mean to them, and personally, I think a conscious person capable of understanding what is right and wrong, not only in a relationship, but in many aspects of life should be able to make the decisions those feminist made.

Feminism can be an inspiration for many, but we don't really need feminism to point out that we deserve the best out of life. We have a brain--ergo, we can identify what is right and wrong. In this case, I'd say most people are more likely to cringe How dating is ruining your love life lot and avoid feminism as far as they could. This book is biased and gives wrong impression to young readers. And we wonder why some people refrain from identifying as a feminist while all the role models How dating is ruining your love life an amiss ideology of feminism.

Everyone has a right to make a choice to live life their way. If they choose to become housewives, kudos to them, it is their right. If they choose to become a CEO of a well known company, more power to those because that is great.

And if people choose to run a life that is full of fun and adventure, go for it. If they choose to live a conservative life, it is their choice once again. That is what feminism is all about: What I got from this book was rather an amiss ideology of feminism, sexuality, and amateur observations.

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The book denies reality and lacks proper principle. This public justification book doesn't live up to its title, but rather it advocates promiscuity and post-feminism delinquency that Ariel Levy condemns in her book and everything that is wrong with this nation. There is no need to justify the irresponsible deeds that one has How dating is ruining your love life and redefine dating as a whole. Sadly, this book doesn't stand out in any way but stays on the same isle with the other self-help dating books.

And just because the absurdity of its content is abundant, I am willing to overlook the good points that were made in this book. I really wanted this to be a great -- or even very good -- book, since it came to me highly recommended. But it's not a great or very good book. The title is "Outdated: Why Dating is Ruining your Love Life.

Mukhopadhyay says that society's expectation that conventional relationships lead to happiness puts pressure on women to be in conventional relationships, when sometimes conventional relationships don't lead to happiness. She advocates niceness and stability rather than legality and permanence. Does a book's age make it outdated? She says Gray "gave us a new and particularly harmful vocabulary for expressing gender difference in relationships.

Why was it harmful? Mukhopadhyay talks about how "gender variance, transgender identities," etc. Mukhopadhyay's advocacy of gay rights and marriage, and how gays also suffer from society's expectation that everyone go toward a heterosexual marriage, are points worth making, but they are points that she makes over and over and over to the extent that the drumbeat of repetition is a distraction in the book.

Mukhopadhyay criticizes Helen Fisher for expressing "tired stereotypes, like women like to talk more, think more long-term, and lead with emotion, whereas men How dating is ruining your love life their love through action. One wonders why Mukhopadhyay ignores the work of linguist Dr. How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships," complete with many non-judgmental studies of how even the youngest boys and girls communicate differently based on their gender.

Mukhopadhyay criticizes those who reach too many conclusions from experiments, when "really they're inferences based on observations. Mukhopadhyay attacks the societal expectation of mandatory heterosexual monogamy by pointing out the sex scandals of Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer, etc.

Outdated: Why Dating Is Ruining...

She How dating is ruining your love life, "These incidents suggest that mandatory heterosexuality is a socially constructed myth. Strangely, for a feminist who just named ten public sex scandals all involving men, Mukhopadhyay doesn't discuss why cheating by the powerful is a male phenomena.

Why do we read about Bill instead of Hillary, Newt instead of Nancy? Both articles may be found on-line. Mukhopadhyay does a fair job of talking about societal expectations of gender roles, and how "even in today's society, people are not considered 'adult' until they're married.

And if he does pay, she puts out. Money guarantees an all-access pass to the vagina park. And there are lots of women who don't automatically "put out" because the man bought dinner. Mukhopadhyay is correct that many of both genders hate some of the strictures of societal expectations: Mukhopadhyay could have written about how, in California at least, for purposes of real estate How dating is ruining your love life, someone not yet married is "single," but someone divorced is forever after "unmarried.

A lot of year olds are still in school or just establishing themselves; many persons over 60 or so are unmarried not by choice, but because their partner died. Narrowing the age range would provide a better picture of how many remain single by choice.

Mukhopadhyay claims "the best-selling dating books are written by men, and Phil, and, again, John Gray. What about Barbara DeAngelis? DeAngelis' many books on relationships aren't labeled "feminist," but at core they are very feminist, empowering women and men to analyze their situations and seek what they want in relationships.

DeAngelis does not shame women or force societal expectations. DeAngelis is all about much of what Mukhopadhyay advocates. Mukhopadhyay writes six pages on "Sex and the City" and not a word for DeAngelis? Mukhopadhyay has an implicit, perhaps explicit, assumption that only liberals can be feminists. This should be addressed. While many conservatives follow religious beliefs of male privilege, conservative feminists exist, and they should be acknowledged at least in passing.

Surely Mukhopadhyay could have asserted the validity of relationship choice without downgrading marriage, but she writes, "Marriage is not a permanent state, but a fickle and very much impermanent one.

Marriage is a ritual Outdated: Why Dating is Ruining Your Love Life. likes. This is the fan page for the book: "Outdated: Why Dating is Ruining Your Love Life." Fan this. Romance and love are in a state of crisis: Statistically speaking, young women today are living romantic lives of all kindsbut they re still feeling bogged down by. Have you ever found yourself dating someone and wondering why they're so non -committal?

Why you have a great WhatsApp chat with them.

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